December 12, 2024, Thursday

Shalom to Everyone!

I started writing this journal during a moment in time I have marked as a new beginning for my spiritual journey. What led me here? ………A phase of Church hurt and a deep realization that I had placed too much dependence on the church and its people. It became clear to me that, in my quest for fellowship and routine, I had lost my personal relationship with Christ.

I had become accustomed to the rhythm of church life, the youth meetings, and evangelism. These things were a big part of my walk with God. But when these routines faltered, when there were no youth meetings or evangelism for weeks, I struggled. Without these external involvement, I found it hard to even pick my Bible or pray on my own. It was as though I was living on auto-pilot—understanding the sermons, following the daily Christian rituals, but forgetting the most crucial element: Talking to My Heavenly Father !

I realized I had fallen into a trap. I was too dependent on others—on the Church, the Pastor, and the Routines—to maintain my relationship with God. I had neglected the very essence of fellowship: intimacy with God Himself. I had become a “ritual Christian,” going through the motions but losing the heart of it all. This realization filled me with guilt but also awakened a hunger in me—a desire to reconnect with God, not through others, but personally, in my own space, hearing His voice clearly for myself.

It was a turning point. I decided to stop relying on others for my spiritual nourishment and instead, I set out to discern God’s voice for myself. As I opened my Bible that day, I was struck with the feeling that I had forgotten the paths to walk in the Word. I cried out to God, asking for His wisdom to understand His will. And in that moment, He gave me revelation.

The Lord showed me something profound: the first thing He calls us to do is not to preach the gospel, nor is the first prayer we are called to pray, “Lord, save the lost.” The first words of the Lord’s Prayer are, “Our Father, who is in heaven, hallowed be Your name.” The focus isn’t on others—it’s on God. It’s about honoring His name, setting our hearts to His will, and aligning ourselves with His kingdom.

As I reflected, I realized how true this was. We can see all around us how the name of Jesus is dishonored—not by non-Christians or atheists—but by born / born-again Christians. It is same as when a woman marries a man and takes his name, she has the ability to dishonor his name through her actions. If she misbehaves or acts in ways that are contrary to the respect, she dishonors his name. In the same way, if I am married to Christ and call myself a Christian, it is only then that I can dishonor His name. Non-Christians, who do not take His name, cannot dishonor it because they never knew His name.

This revelation hit me deeply, and I felt God guiding me to learn more. Then , I mediate on the books of Luke for a while. Luke wrote 2 books: the Gospel of Luke and the Acts of the Apostles. In the first book, he writes about what Jesus began to do and teach. In the second, he writes about what Jesus continued to do and teach through His church. This was eye-opening for me: the work of Christ is not limited to His earthly ministry, but it continues through His followers, through us.

Another thing I learned was the contrast between the Old and New Testaments. In the Old Testament, the Lord said, “Come and hear what the Lord has said.” But in the New Testament, Jesus said, “Come and see what the Lord has done through His Word.” Jesus lived His life for 30 years before beginning His ministry, and it was from that life—His character—that He preached. What I realized is that we can only preach according to the level of our own lives. Jesus emphasizes life and character-building more than just teaching Bible verses, which is a mistake many preachers today are making. True Christian living is about becoming a “Walking Bible,” living out the Word with our character, not just speaking it.

Hebrews 8:10 tells us that God will put His laws into our minds and write them on our hearts. God is more interested in working on our inner being. When I meditate on this verse, I focus on two things: the mind and the heart. “Putting in the mind” means having a desire to do God’s will, while “putting in the heart” means having the ability to do it. In the Old Testament, it was external behavior that mattered, but in the New Testament, God is more concerned with the inner life and character.

So, never take for granted the desires God places in your mind to seek Him. Don’t hold back—be firm in your faith, for we walk by faith, not by sight. Be constant in seeking Him. He will arrange everything, make space for you, and give you the ability to fulfill His will. As I write these words, I can feel His presence with me, guiding me. He has placed this desire in my heart, and He is making ways for me. I encourage you, humble yourself and ask God to place this desire in your heart too.

This moment of clarity shifted everything for me. I understood that before anything else, I needed to focus on my relationship with God, learning to honor Him above all, and to seek His will above all else.

And so, this journal begins—not as a pursuit to merely document my thoughts, but as a tool for my daily walk with God. This is the place where I will listen, reflect, and grow closer to Him.

God placed this desire to write these journal to help people out there who, like me, are struggling in the same way. Perhaps they have faced church hurt, or perhaps they too have felt disconnected from their personal relationship with Christ. Through this journal, I believe God wants to speak to them, heal them, and draw them closer to His heart. My hope is that, as I share my journey, others will find healing, encouragement, and a renewed desire to seek God on their own terms.

God Bless You!